Vita, Amare, et Cruciamentum
by Lady Sanzennine
Summary: [Complete] Life, Love, and Torment I was changed...the moment I saw you cry. AeriSeph. This fic is pretty old, and I no longer like the material, but why leave it partially uploaded?
1. 1

**_Vita, Amare, et Cruciamentum_**

**_(Life, Love and Torment)_**

**_By Lady Sanzennine_**

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Squaresoft. Except the lyrics to "Cry", which belong to Mandy Moore.

Chapter 1 ~ Shadows and Dust

_I'll always remember...  
It was late afternoon...  
In places no one would find..._

It was awfully cold, she noticed. Shivering, she tried to draw her short red jacket tighter around her slim body. It was a useless gesture, for the sharp, unseasonable winds cut through the pathetically thin and worn material as if it didn't exist. 

What had brought her up here today anyways? Above the plates of Midgar? The slums below might have been dark and oppressive, but at least the insulated design of the plates kept the area warm. Now here she was, freezing half to death in fresh air, and making no more of a profit from her flowers than she was used to in the slums.

You would think that the rich occupants of the higher levels of Midgar would be more generous with their money, especially towards the beautiful flower girl, but that was to expect too much of humanity. 

"Beautiful, fresh flowers for sale!" she called, forcing her voice to sound bright and cheerful, though that was far from the current state of her emotions. "Only one gil! Give your special lady a gift she'll adore!"

No one even paid her a glance. Why should they when they had access to first rate floral boutiques? Her precious blossoms, each grown and cultivated under her loving and constant care, had no hope of winning against elaborately garnished bouquets of the most expensive kind. 

I'm such an idiot, she berated herself. She had spent so much effort getting above the plates, and it was all for nothing. What a waste. 

It was time to return home now, before she managed to catch a chill from the relentless September winds.

She began to walk, and with each step her hear sank lower. Large green eyes, the hue of golden-green spring felt afire as tears pushed against the barrier of her will. She would not cry. She would not. They would not break her spirit.

Oh, what was the point? Why tread though this weary life where nothing ever changed and the children of the earth refused to listen to anything past their greed and desire? Where the downtrodden and the forsaken dragged their feet every step of the way for lack of nourishment to fuel their bodies. Where those born to privilege abused their power and wallowed in the corrupt and crippling sty of selfish pleasure.

And in the end, what was left?

A memory that fades and yellows over time until there is naught but dust left.

A world even more desolate and sickly then when it was first given to us, to leave to our children.

A legacy of death and destruction, of hatred and intolerance to be passed down through the eons.

Life ended in the stench of forbidding death. Love bloomed like the rose of incomparable spring, only to whither through the endless months of bitter winter. 

And through it all, the Planet screamed.

The piercing, agonizing cries of pain were everlasting. And she alone heard it. She was the only one who truly knew its torment.

It wouldn't be long before all of humanity was crushed.

Shadows and Dust. Just shadows and dust.

What would be left then?

And what lay beyond the vice-like grip of mortality? The body died and the soul returned to the planet. But then what? Was there eternal peace? Perhaps the sanctuary of not feeling?

A powerful gust of wind assaulted her, whipping the few loose tendrils of light brown hair around her delicate face. Behind her, her thick braid was lifted away from her back, only to return moments later with a gentle bump. 

Winds of upcoming winter, signifying yet another year's passing. 

Year after year we continue moving forward, pushed by an invisible, undeniable force. 

And year after year, we die even more.

Innocence destroyed. Hope smothered. 

_Why am I here?_

She was so lonely. No one understood and no one empathized. 

_Why did you leave me here? _She questioned the Planet, the Cetra. To be isolated from the ones that she belonged with and to be left on the earth so that only she could hear the Planet's cry – it was too much.

_I have to be happy, _she reminded herself, _for the people around me. For mom, and my friends, and the others in the slums. I have to give them hope by being optimistic. No one else will do it._

_But right now…I can't. I just can't feel that way._

She looked up towards the cloudy gray heavens. Eternally dull and lifeless, the Midgar skies were. The sun never shone upon the city at the heart of the Planet's slow death. 

She sighed as she continued walking. She shouldn't be so selfish. She shouldn't complain that she had been left behind while the rest of her people moved on. As the last of the Planet's protectors, she had a duty to fulfill. And at least she wasn't being slowly drained of her life blood.

There would be nothing but a dry husk left if Shinra continued to suck the mako dry from the Planet's veins. 

But didn't she have a right to be upset? Didn't she have the right to pursue her own happiness?

And what was stopping her?

Gods, who knew? She didn't have the answers herself.

Constantly pursued by Shinra, fighting to stay alive, and almost starving everyday… Yes, that was life. And she was happy, dammit!

She was happy…

So why did she feel so empty and lost?

_Soon child, _the Planet whispered for her ears alone. 

Soon? She wondered.

_Destiny has a way of working out for the best in the end._

In the end. In the end. What would be left but shadows and dust in the end?

She looked up from the ground then, as if compelled by the Planet itself. Before her stood one of the gates that served as the passage ways between Midgar and the wild world beyond.

She wasn't about to venture outside the city walls. To do that would be courting death.

_Go, _the Planet urged softly. _Go._

_And get myself killed by some monster? _Aeris crossed her arms stubbornly. _No thank you. _

It took a lot more than mere sadness to desire the infinity after mortality.

_Destiny has a way. _The Planet told her in a singsong voice. For once its cries were silenced.

_Go._

_You'll find him there…_

Him. Who? she wondered, her creamy smooth furrowing in confusion.

_Go._

She stepped forward, and the gates opened automatically.

A whole new world was beyond those gates. A world that she longed to see. Perhaps somewhere, far from the darkness of Midgar, far from the corruption and evil of the people who ran it, there was a place of sunlight. A Garden of Eden.

_Destiny has a way, _the Planet repeated.

She stepped beyond the gates and onto the hard packed dirt ground where the concrete stopped. It didn't matter that she had no access card to open the gates with when she decided to return. It didn't matter that she wasn't even armed and would be helpless prey to any voracious monster that happened to spot her.

For what are we but shadows and dust?

She continued to walk forwards. 

And in the distance, she could make out a solitary figure, masculine, and clothed in black. 

He was there. 

_I'll always remember  
It was late afternoon  
It lasted forever  
And ended too soon  
You were all by yourself  
Staring up at a dark gray sky  
I was changed_

~LS~


	2. 2

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Squaresoft except for the lyrics to Cry, which are Mandy Moore's.

Chapter 2 ~ Five Hundred, Twenty Five Thousand, Six Hundred Minutes

She approached him cautiously and silently. What was he doing here anyways, in the middle of nowhere?

Sephiroth. The very mention of his name inspired awe and wonder. And fear. 

He seemed so impossibly large and imposing, even though he was facing away from her. His great height and muscular body combined with the massive, but elegant blade that always accompanied him made him dangerous at best.

And deadly at worst.

Long silver hair drifted gently in the breeze and his leather cloak fanned out behind him. From what she could see, he seemed to be studying the heavens above. He appeared not to have noticed her presence, but somehow, she knew differently. 

_You were all by yourself_

_Staring up at a dark gray sky_

_I was changed_

What was it about him that touched her so? It was as if she sensed…something…beyond that icy exterior of his. Something that he kept locked away from the rest of the world.

_Yes child. Destiny's way. _The Planet called. 

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was then that I realized_

_That forever was in your eyes…_

At that moment, he turned slightly so that his marvelously sculpted profile faced her. He still gave no sign of acknowledging her.

_He's facing due north, _something inside told her. 

A few mere meters separated their bodies on the deserted grassy plain that they stood upon. To Aeris though, it felt like a light year. She continued to study him in silence, her gaze never wavering from his mako green eyes – the color of the lifestream.

And then she thought to herself that she must be dreaming, for she thought she saw the faint shimmer of unshed tears caress the glowing orbs of his eyes. 

_The moment I saw you cry_

But that couldn't be. Surely her mind was playing tricks on her.

He was Sephiroth. The Great General Sephiroth, head of the Shinra Army. They said that he was stoic and unfeeling as any soulless monster. They said that was what great men were made of.

_The moment that I saw you cry_

But perhaps they were wrong.

*          *          *

_Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. _

A year could pass by so quickly, yet so agonizingly slow at the same time. 

_What has been accomplished this year? _He asked himself. _Another war has been won. Another city has been taken over by Shinra. Another few thousand soldiers have died fighting for the greed of a corporation in league with the devil._

_And here I am, in the heart of revolting vice with everything a man could desire. _

_Wealth, power, respect, women..._

_But what does it amount to?_

_What does it mean in the end?_

He was fully aware of the girl that stood at a polite distance from him. From his peripheral vision he could make out sun kissed brown hair – odd since there was no sunlight to speak of within a one kilometer radius of Midgar, and fascinating green eyes.

_Nature's first green is gold._

It didn't matter that she was there. Nothing mattered right now. He wondered what he would do if a monster should approach them looking for a quick meal. Perhaps he wouldn't put up a fight.

No. The instinct for survival was too strong. Had it been weaker, his past attempts to take his own life during the years of childhood wouldn't have failed so miserably.

Let her observe him. It was of no consequence.

He continued to gaze north. Always north, towards the mysterious crater that had marred the Planet for ages now.

Someday, justice would be served, he vowed. Maybe then he could feel at peace. If only the demons would leave him.

_The little boy huddled in the corner of his so called bedroom, which was no more than a holding cell fit for the lowest of all criminals. A kind caretaker had once told him that everyone was born innocent. But obviously that was not true in his case._

_He had been born guilty and branded by Destiny's cruel chains. _

_Why? What had he ever done to deserve such callousness? Other children had parents, siblings, people who loved them. All he had was rags and an eternally haunted expression in his frightened mako eyes. _

_He hugged himself tighter, shivering from the cold and wishing that he had something warm with which to wrap himself in. Any other child would have perished long ago under the conditions that he was kept in. But he was different, and somehow, that made him unworthy of basic rights._

_Having drawn his bent legs up against his chest, he rested his forehead on his knees. His neck muscles screamed from the movement, having been battered by Hojo the other night. His arms, upper body and face were likewise beaten._

_//Stupid boy!// he recalled Hojo screaming after he had accidentally knocked over several petre dishes upon the lab counter. //You'll get the beating of your life after you clean that mess up!//_

_His fists had descended upon Sephiroth's small frame again and again. Blood ran where the tender insides of his mouth were cruelly sliced open by his own teeth. And when Hojo had had enough of using his own hands, he had released his belt to continue the abuse._

_//Stop! Please, stop.//_

_Pathetic, whimpering fool he was. He had begged. _Begged_ for Hojo to stop. _

_But someday the tables would be turned._

_Someday._

_He may be only a helpless child now, but the future would be different._

_Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. Year by year, he would grow stronger. And then, then no one would be able to do this to him ever again._

How long had he been standing here facing the north? Mentally, Sephiroth smiled, knowing that the foolish girl probably thought he was crying. 

What an idea, he scoffed, without changing his expression. His mind began to wander back to the unforgettable past.

_//No! You can't do this!// he screamed. Using all of his strength, which was frankly pitiful, he resisted Hojo's dragging._

_A resounding slap silenced him abruptly. //You will not argue with me boy! Now get in there.// With that, Hojo pushed the young child violently into his private laboratory. Slamming the door shut behind him, he stalked over to where Sephiroth was sprawled on the tiled floor, trying his best not to cry._

_//Get up!// Hojo ordered, not caring in the least that he had nearly broken Sephiroth's leg the last time. //I don't have any time to waste on the likes of you.//_

_//Then let me go.// Sephiroth said as he pulled himself to his bruised feet. He raised his small chin defiantly and tried to stare down the older man, but found himself unable to maintain eye contact._

_Pathetic. It summed up his entire existence perfectly._

_He was strapped to the operating table, too tired and forlorn to even bother resisting. Hojo inserted a long needle with mako into his chest, just above his heart, and the glowing life blood of the Planet disappeared within his veins._

_Sephiroth tried valiantly to hold back a cry of pain. Red hot tendrils of agony held him within their unrelenting grasp and filled his heart and lungs with burning, pulsating, unbearable heat. His tiny frame writhed upon the icy cold operating table and his haunted eyes were firmly shut against the pain._

//Stop!//

//God, make it stop.//

_But there was no God. How could He exist if he allowed such injustice?_

//What crime have I committed? I've never asked for anything. I've never broken any rules. I've never hurt anyone.

//All I ever wanted was for you to care about me. That's all that's ever mattered. But to you, I'm just another specimen for your research. All you've ever shown me is hatred and apathy. All you've ever giving me are bruises. 

//Not one kind word. Not one loving embrace.

//But now I understand.

//I understand this world.

//I wanted you to love me, and so I did everything I could to endear myself to you. I was rewarded with the worst beating imaginable.

//So I'll change. I'll become the cold hearted bastard that you are. And then maybe things will be different.

//Maybe then I won't be the victim. If I become you…

//So I'll sacrifice my soul. Just to escape this fate.

//One more year. Just one more year. In five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes. The tables will be turned.

//Someday I'll be the hunter. Someday I won't fear anyone, least of all you. Someday the world will pay for everything it's done to me. Someday, I'll make you cry for your own black heart.

_His eyes opened slowly and he forced himself to lie perfectly still despite the pain. He stared at the harsh, bright lights overhead._

//I swear it.//

*          *          *

He hadn't moved in so long. Not one facial muscle contracted, save to blink slightly. He was impassive as always, but she knew better. 

Appearances are often deceiving.

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside…_

~LS~


	3. 3

_Vita, Amare, et Cruciamentum_

_(Life, Love, and Torment)_

Disclaimer: FFVII and everything it encompasses belongs to Squaresoft Inc. The lyrics to "Cry" are property of Mandy Moore.

~Just a reminder. The  *          *          *          denote change in perspective. I'm writing from third person limited, so the thoughts go from one character to the other each time you see the stars. ~

Chapter 3 ~ Solitude

The cruel winds prompted Aeris out of her near trance-like state. Much longer and she would truly freeze to death. 

Instinctively, her body began to tremble and her teeth chatter. She hugged herself tightly, inwardly debating what she should do. To just turn around and head back to Midgar was the logically sound course of action. But she hadn't been logical that entire day. Why start now?

She was also wondering why Sephiroth didn't seem the least bit cold, even though all he was wearing was a leather trench coat that bared much of his impressive chest.

_Sephiroth, what are you thinking about? What are you hiding from the world? _

_Please let me in._

But why should she even care? Why on the Planet was she still standing there, as if for some elusive reason, she _could not_ leave him?

And then he turned, finally facing her. Her heartbeat tripled instantly and her eyes widened, causing her countenance to resemble that of a frightened deer.

_Get out of here, now._ She commanded herself.

But he hadn't done anything yet. He was a military man, yes, but he was not some random murderer. He wouldn't do anything to her. Right?

_But he's still dangerous._

So was her life. Living in the slums, selling flowers on the street. Danger was not a foreign word to her.

But she was very cold.

_Stay child, _the Planet commanded. _Someday, you'll understand._

_But I don't want to stay! What if…_

Eyes the very hue of the lifestream met wide, earthly green ones and she was lost. All thoughts of fleeing dispersed like hazy mist.

_It was late in September  
And I've seen you before  
You were always the cold one  
But I was never that sure  
You were all by yourself  
Staring at a dark gray sky  
I was changed_

There was emotion in those eyes, yet she had always believed…

Sorrow? Anger? Hatred? What was it that he was feeling?

_Let me help you. No one can be alone all the time._

Had she truly just thought that? The General of the Shinra army was never alone. He was always surrounded by bright-eyed admirers and lust-driven women who worshiped him like a God. He had servants and mistresses, the complete faith of the President, and the unadulterated respect of all the known world…

But was solitude limited only to the physical? 

_In places no one would find  
All your feelings so deep inside_

And were true emotions the ones you allowed others to see? 

_Perhaps now you understand, child._

With slow, deliberate steps, he consumed the short distance that separated them. Perhaps it was the bitter frost that numbed her and held her body rooted to the spot. Or perchance the Planet's will. But underneath the lies, the excuses, and the denials, there was always a hidden gem of truth.

She didn't want to leave him.

_I wanted to hold you  
I wanted to make it go away  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to make your everything, all right...._

*          *          *

Such weakness - this slip of a girl before him. 

What was she even doing out here if she couldn't handle the cold cruelty of the world? Ah, the malicious winds were likely the most painful thing she'd ever had the fortune to experience. 

Wretched humans. How miserably frail they all were. 

And yet…it was the humans that had made his life a living hell. Humans that had controlled him for so long. They were to blame. But soon, he would balance the scales of justice. They would not go unpunished for all they had done to him.

But not yet.

And this one who stood just in front of him, obviously frightened and clearly cold – there was something about her. Something…not quite human.

Those eyes of hers held far too much knowledge, despite her otherwise innocent appearance. If he had not known better, he would have thought her another like himself. But he and Mother were the last. And _her_ people were to blame.

But still she drew him. 

_Destiny has a sense of humor._

Over the years, he'd learned precisely how to deal with women. It was an art, really. The art of appeasing the fairer sex. And mastering it had its advantages.

And when a woman was cold, that meant that you were supposed to hold her.

She didn't move, though her expressive green eyes spoke volumes about the emotions roiling within her. Predominantly there was fear, yet beneath the surface, there was also something akin to…wonder?

Why was she here?

Mayhap she was just another one of his admirers, though in actuality "stalkers" would be a more fitting description. 

No, she lacked the blatantly lustful gaze of all the others.

Then why? Who was she and what were the emotions that played across those incomparably brilliant eyes? 

His calculated steps brought him until he stood just before her. Their difference in height forced him to lean his head downwards as she complimented his movement by tilting hers back. Eye contact was never broken, as if powers beyond their own were acting on behalf of a greater fate. Electricity seemed to crackle between them and for a moment, they were both held entirely motionless.

_Destiny's iron shackles can never be shaken off. No matter how hard you try. You can't escape it._

Instinct took control, and his arms came around her carefully, pulling their bodies together into a lover's embrace.

He felt her tense immediately. 

_She is afraid of me. Good. _

A heady sense of power assailed him. How he loved the knowledge that year after year, he still managed to induce that response in people – even those that wanted him.

Fear in others was a sanctuary. The only sanctuary he'd ever known. To be cautious was to keep one's distance, and if that was achieved, then no one could penetrate the barrier he'd erected around himself. 

Solitude.

Those like Hojo would never be able to touch him.

Yes, fear was the solution. Let them worship him. Let them be held in constant awe. Even let those he favored become physically intimate with him.

But never let them beyond intangible barricades of ice.

Such a simple, perfect solution. Solitude.

But sometimes…

Sometimes…

*          *          *

…sometimes we're all so alone.

To Be Continued...

~Lyralina~


	4. 4

_Vita, Amare, et Cruciamentum_

_(Life, Love, and Torment)_

Disclaimer: FFVII and everything it encompasses belongs to Squaresoft Inc. The lyrics to "Cry" are property of Mandy Moore.

Chapter 4 Fallen

Sometimes we're all so alone. No matter how much we smile, or how happy we appear.

We all feel it.

_I can't continue like this for all time._

_Is that why I'm here? Is that why you brought me here?_

_Him?_

We all feel it.

Within.

It was wonderfully warm, being held in the protective circle of his strong arms. But at the same time, frighteningly cold and impersonal. She'd have thought that it was impossible to embrace like this and remain frostily detached. Yet by some means he managed it.

Her gaze lowered until it rested upon his collarbone and, no longer denying her desires, she folded herself into his irresistible warmth. Her initial fright melted away with the numbness of her limbs.

How was it that he wore less than she, but was unaffected by the cold?

Who cared? All that mattered at the moment was that she was no longer shivering. And that he was holding her.

Her eyelids drifted shut and she inhaled deeply, reveling in the masculine scent that surrounded her. She was behaving horribly wantonly. Her mother would have been ashamed. But at that precise moment, it simply did not matter.

"You're cold," he whispered, his voice low and seductive. His warm breath caressed the tender skin of her ear and raised her awareness of him even further.

A myriad of emotions assaulted her, leaving her breathless and uncertain.

Her answer was a mere, trembling sigh upon her lips. "Yes."

"Why did you come?" Such control. Such calculated impassiveness.

_I…the Planet…_

_Why?_

"I don't know."

She shouldn't be allowing this to continue. She could push away, gather up the long forgotten flower basket by their feet, and return home. There was absolutely nothing to gain from this brief interlude in their lives.

But if the moment were to last for all eternity, she would have died content.

Not because she was with the greatly coveted General. Simply because somehow, she sensed that…perhaps…he needed this as much as she did.

_Sometimes I just feel so isolated. So alone. _

_And it seems that I'm the only one who suffers this. _

_It's such a cold world. Where greed controls everything and we spend forever in search of a reason for being. Children are being beaten. Innocents are being raped. Wars are waged day to day and an endless cycle of destruction superimposes all there is. _

_Death surrounds us and we force ourselves to flee from a monster that we cannot escape._

_And through it all, we hope and pray that there is something better after the end. Either blissful nothingness, or a Heaven in which we won't have to face the horrors of life. We search for that ever elusive God, for an answer that will satisfy all burning need. We search…_

_Sometimes I feel so empty._

_But at this moment, it's not so bad. I feel…complete, and yet still there's a hollow ache._

_Because he's holding back._

His soft voice broke through her turbulent thoughts. "_Fatalis__, effugis non potere_." _Destiny, you can't escape it._

"No," she shook her head, unaware that the movement caused her silken, honey-brown locks to brush his bare chest sensuously. "Our destinies are our own."

They had to be. She simply could not accept the alternative. Her course was hers alone to choose.

One arm left her slender waist and his forefinger came to gently tilt her chin up. She was forced to drown in those endless mako orbs.

They said that the eyes were the windows to the soul. But if there was never anything other than impassiveness to be found within them, what did that say about that soul?

"My path was determined long before I came into this world."

And so we are forced to walk roads lain before us. Fate – what a bitter word.

They claimed that God was all-knowing. They claimed that admittance into Heaven was obtained through your actions in life and your faith in Him. But then, did God not know who would be unfaithful to Him? Did He not know exactly who would be forsaken? What each soul's path would be?

Born into fate. On a straight pathway to either salvation or damnation.

Which path was she on?

Which road did he walk?

Forsaken from the first.

Yes, his fate had been sealed long before his conception. And he would carry it through to the letter.

If he was to fall from Grace, why not take all of humanity with him?

But perhaps not her. She was…

"What are you, little witch?" he asked. His voice was kept carefully controlled. Always just above the faint whisper of the winds.

Her captivating green eyes held him and refused to release him from their power. He recalled a day long ago, just before the war with Wutai had begun. That land had been so lushly beautiful, and so awash with sunlight. Golden-green spring.

She reminded him of such visions.

And the next day the battle had begun, and soon nature's beauty was desecrated by the crimson hot blood of fallen soldiers.

Forever tainted.

Would that happen to this girl he held in his arms? Would _he _be the one to bring about her destruction?

"I'm the last." she answered, her voice wavering.

"Last?" She was not the last of anything. It was he who was the last of his race.

"The last Cetra." Her eyes became brighter, more reflective, as moisture threatened to spill.

But how could that be? Certainly she was lying. Or misled.

Could it be? Perhaps he was not alone?

"The last of the Planet's heirs?" he questioned gently.

"Heir?" delicately arched brown eyebrows drew slightly together as her expression became quizzical. "I inherited nothing but the ability to hear the Planet's screams. And more often than not, I wish it weren't so."

Sephiroth's mind began to assess the girl in his arms in ways far beyond the exterior. She claimed that she was a Cetra. Like him. If that were true…then they would be the last. The last of a dying race, hunted and persecuted by humanity.

The logical conclusion was obvious.

And besides, she could prove to be a very valuable asset to him in the future.

"So you stand alone in this world," he stated quietly. His eyes still held hers, refusing to allow her the privilege of looking away.

Her reply contained all of the forlorn dejectedness that he'd expected. "Yes. It's a lonely world." And then she shocked him by saying with absolute certainty, "Even you feel it."

He was startled, yes. But damned if he was about the reveal anything to her.

"I have everything that I could ever want or wish for. And that includes company."

Insightful little witch, wasn't she?

How dare she make such assumptions?

A faint smile graced her inviting lips, and at that moment, he vowed not only to have her, but to prove to her just how wrong she was. He certainly didn't feel any such soft emotions.

But desire…that was a different story altogether.

He suddenly found it increasingly difficult to restrain himself. The urge to bury his face in her mass of silken hair was becoming too great. His awareness of her soft breasts pressed against his chest was approaching unbearable.

And at the same time, he felt a burning need to seduce her in a way that would demean her the most. To rob innocence and shatter the pedestal she stood upon… Virtue should not exist in such a dark, tarnished world. Purity should have been a dream of the past. She should not be able to persist as she was.

And yet, he wanted nothing more than to release those sun kissed tresses from their careful plaiting and feel their unequaled softness beneath the touch of his fingertips. To claim her warm, supple lips and declare to all the world that no other was to ever touch her. And to inhale the distinct scent of _her_ and drown in the essence of her very soul – it was too tempting.

For she was the only one. They were the last, left behind to suffer the cruel inflictions of unforgiving fate.

One man and one woman, like Adam and Eve, fallen from the Grace of God. The Promised Land was always just beyond reach, and all that surrounded them was mortal misery in a land that never knew the simple beauty of sunlight.

To Be Continued…

-LS


	5. 5

_Vita, Amare, et Cruciamentum_

_(Life, Love, and Torment)_

Disclaimer: FFVII and everything it encompasses belongs to Squaresoft Inc. The lyrics to "Cry" are property of Mandy Moore.

* * *

Chapter 5: Frustration

His subtle seduction was driving Aeris crazy.

The warmth that emanated from his hard, masculine body; the way his fingers slowly stoked along her back so gently that she could just barely feel it beneath her jacket; and his strong, steady heartbeat beneath her fingertips sent her plummeting down a spiral of intense distraction. Damn this man who could so easily make her forget all else except this one moment that now held her a willing captive.

And damn him for his treacherous heart that could beat so slowly while hers was sent into an erratic rhythm that desire alone could produce.

But it was only to be expected that Sephiroth would remain completely indifferent while wreaking utter havoc upon her body. Dear Lord, did the man even have any idea what he was doing to her?

But he must. He was not the type to act unconsciously or without a very specific reason.

Suddenly his mouth descended upon hers and all thought fled without warning. Delicious heat seared her lips and coiled in her belly as his lips and tongue demanded entrance. She welcomed the unexpected assault upon her senses and didn't even think to deny him.

It was such a new sensation, a new experience, heretofore a world completely unknown to her. Aeris had felt fleeting, stolen kisses before, but none had been daring enough to try to take it this far.

Her lips parted under the insistence of his tongue, and instantly they were engaged in the intimate love-play so deeply imbedded in their instincts. Lips, teeth and tongue were brought into a sensual, ageless, lovers' duel. One of his hands continued to stroke the small of her back while the other caressed the side of her face. Abandoning all inhibitions, she pressed her body's length against his and allowed her fingertips to softly brush against his collarbone, trail down the hard chest – like velvet covered rock.

He held her tighter still while he continued to explore her mouth. He branded her with his passion as it fueled her own, and at that moment, she knew that she could never be happy with any other. No one else would be able to make her newly awakened body sing as he did.

And then it stopped, leaving her braced and expectant and tearing an unconscious moan of protest from her throat.

Sephiroth's low chuckle startled her and brought her fully back to awareness, though in truth that was the last thing she wanted right then.

"Would you have me take you here, out in the cold?" He whispered teasingly, his lips mere centimeters away from hers. Boldly, as though he owned her, he ran one hand up along the length of her side to caress the side of her breast.

Aeris suddenly regained all of her lost senses and color flooded her cheeks as she realized what she was doing. Kissing a complete stranger? Alone and outside the walls of Midgar?

Oh Gods, what had come over her?

She pressed against his chest, trying to put some distance between their bodies. Now that the spell was broken she was determined to get away from him – before his mere presence had the opportunity to overwhelm her again.

"Let me go," she demanded breathlessly when he didn't release her from his hold.

"Why?" he asked. "You weren't protesting before."

That made her blush again, which only served to make her angrier, though most of that anger was for herself. "Well, now I am," she told him.

"_Venificulla._ You tempt a man so boldly and then run away once you have his attention? What game are you playing at?"

Little witch. He'd called her 'little witch.' And he had the nerve to accuse _her_ of being a tease considering his actions just moments ago? Oh, that did it.

"How dare you!" Aeris exclaimed, insulted. Using all of her strength she pushed against him and finally kicked his shin when he still didn't let her go. She wasn't so deluded as to believe that she had actually hurt him, but at least he was startled enough by her actions to release her. She stumbled back and glared at him. "I wasn't the one who decided it was acceptable to take liberties with a total stranger. And I also wasn't the one to break that kiss."

"Precisely," he replied with maddening clam. "You responded just like any harlot."

Aeris' stared at him incredulously. _Oh, the nerve! First he makes me want him and then he insults me for it. Gods, I can't believe what a fool I've made of myself._

"Of course. Since you know everything there is to know about me." She retorted sarcastically.

"I know all I need to about women." Neither Sephiroth's face nor his posture betrayed any of what he was feeling, but his eyes were glinting fiercely now. It was a sight that Aeris would have found captivating if she wasn't too busy nursing wounded pride.

"Well, I'm very sorry for all the women you've known. No doubt you discard them as easily as a spoiled child with his toys."

A smirk twisted his lips at that. "I keep them for as long as it amuses me."

And she'd let _this_ man be her first kiss? Granted, it had been even more electrifying then she could have dreamed, but still.

"Well, keep amusing yourself with your string of mistresses." She told him. She would not stand here and take any more of this. "It's long past the time I should have gone home. Goodbye."

With that, she deftly bent to pick up her flower basket and then turned away from him to walk back to Midgar. Nothing would have happened and that infuriating man would have been out of sight and out of mind in moments, but suddenly a strong arm wrapped around her waist, pressing her back along the lean length of his frame.

"And if I don't let you go?" Sephiroth whispered into her ear. He was holding her from behind with one arm while the other hand cupped her breast possessively.

Unfair! It was totally unfair that he could undo her wits without any effort at all. And why on the Planet was it so difficult for her to remain mad at him when he was touching her like this? When he was so close? If she could remain calm and rational in moments like this she would have even more reason to be furious. He had no right to touch her like that.

But who cared when all she could hear was the furious pounding of her heart and all she could feel was his heat and the mad fluttering of desire in her belly?

"Don't," she gasped, as he leaned his head down to nibble at her neck.

"Don't? When you want me just as much as I want you?"

He was challenging her with every slight movement, with every breath inhaled. His actions, daring, insulting, and enticing all at once, taunted her silently. As if to say, _resist me if you can._

But she couldn't.

Damn this weak, sinful flesh! Was the mind really so feeble that it could not overcome the urges of the body? Or did she simply not want to admit to herself that she liked what he was doing to her?

"Perhaps you don't want to stand alone any longer. Perhaps that's why you're here." Sephiroth said, still standing behind her.

Yes, that was what had brought her here in the first place wasn't it? An aching feeling of loneliness in the midst of a cold world. And the Planet's gentle persuasion that brought her past the relative safety of Midgar.

And now she was here, being detained by the most desired man of her time – a beautiful, powerful, _impossible_, man that frustrated her like no other could. That tempted her like no other could.

"Perhaps it is," she acknowledged quietly. "But what's your excuse?"

"I came here to think," he admitted. "And instead I find a vixen that alternately plays the harlot and the outraged virgin." He paused as if gauging her reaction, which was only to stiffen slightly at the slur. "I want you, little witch. And I mean to have you."

Her eyes drifted shut upon hearing his words. A thrill of excitement shot through her upon hearing him admit again that he wanted her.

But she would restrain herself. She would. "I won't let you." She would not be ravaged and then thrown away like used goods. Even by a man as attractive and sought-after as this one.

She sensed him smile, though she could not see his face from her position before him. Gods, she needed to get away. Before he put her declaration to the test.

"I don't doubt you'll fight it. I would expect no less from you. But, in the end…"

He turned her around so that she faced him and once again his skilled lips came down to claim hers. Sephiroth still held her in a vice-like grip, ensuring that she wouldn't escape him until he was ready to go. But slowly and steadily Aeris' body relaxed against his, once again bewitched, until she was clinging to him and demanding more.

_I'm here because I want to be. I can't deny it anymore. I hate him for the way he acts and the things he says, but…but I know that there's another side to him. Just like there's another side to me. _

_My friends would probably have a heart attack if they could see this. Good girl Aeris, pious, prudish Aeris, passionately kissing a stranger._

_We all have different facets, even though we don't always show them. And I saw a deeper side to him just a while ago, before all this happened._

_He's here with me now. Maybe his reasons are the same as mine._

_I've always felt alone, even when I'm with a boyfriend. It's not a clear feeling at times like that, but it's there nevertheless, just beneath the surface. But he makes me forget all that. Somehow, when he holds me, when he kisses me, I feel…complete._

_Oh, Planet help me. I'm so confused.

* * *

_

-Lyralina


	6. 6

_Vita, Amare, et Cruciamentum_

_(Life, Love, and Torment)_

Disclaimer: FFVII and everything it encompasses belongs to Squaresoft Inc.

Chapter 6 Don't Leave Me Here Alone

What in Hell's name was he still doing here, toying with her while simultaneously allowing her to lead him on, Sephiroth wondered? It seemed as though the world had decided to lose all sense of reason within the short time between the moment she'd arrived and now. And still, he continued to ravage her mouth, tasting honeysuckle and berries and the sweet essence of spring.

But there would be no culmination to this crescendo of inflamed passion. And when he finally left her, alone and at the mercy of this monster infested land, he would likely never set eyes upon her again. He'd never delight in the mixed desire and fear in her beautiful green eyes, or savor her soft, trembling mouth.

This unique, mere slip of a girl who claimed to be the last Cetra – she drew him like a mindless moth to the brilliance of her flame. Beyond all logic and past mortal control. Sephiroth suddenly had the urge to strike her and silence her forever, for having this maddening power over him.

How dare she?

He felt a touch of moisture brush against his cheek, causing him to pull away gently to study the girl he continued to hold in his arms. Seeing the tears that she tried to hold back, he felt a rush of disgust flow through him.

"Women," he began contemptuously, "Always crying at every little thing."

He'd angered her again, and somehow, the thought almost made him smile. Almost.

She tried to fight him again, pushing and even clawing at his exposed chest, but his arms remained steadfastly locked around her, trapping her against him.

"Gods, I hate you!" she exclaimed, as reality intruded her mind, bring her back from the dizzy fervor that he had skillfully worked her body to. "I've already told you that I want to go home, you...you jerk!"

"Yes, and I don't think I'm ready to let you go yet," he answered. Mako eyes bore into earthly green ones, mesmerizing his prey.

Aeris angrily wiped at her eyes, furious at the entire situation. "You can't just," she paused, groping for her words, "_Force_ me around like this. Is this how you treat your other women? Is that the only way you can have them?"

"Am I really forcing you, witch?" Sephiroth asked. His voice returned to a carefully modulated, seductive quality. "If I were to stop this _forcing_, would you run to your safe, secure little home? Away from the danger you sought out yourself by coming here?" His hands slid down from her slim waist to the curve of her hips and he pulled her roughly to him, making sure she could feel the results that their passion-play had wrought upon his body. He smirked at the startled gasp that escaped her lips.

"And would you lie in your lonely bed, dreaming, wishing, wanting? Perhaps cry these pathetic tears you show me now for whatever imagined hurt you feel?"

"You can be assured that whatever it is I'm dreaming about will have nothing to do with you!" she shot at him. She practically never cried. Not since outgrowing that childish indulgence which was severely frowned upon in the harsh environment of the Slums. But sometimes, in the stillness of the solitary night, sometimes…But she should never have done so before him!

Tears of frustration, resentment, fury continued to escape, though she fought them as best she could.

_This is what you brought me here for? _She asked the Planet that was now silent as death. _To be subjected to this? _

"Anyways, it's not surprising that you can't understand something as _human_ as tears," Aeris shot at him while trying to wrench out of his solid grip. "After all, no one's ever seen a monster cry."

Sephiroth tightened his hold on her waist and his lips pressed into a thin line. "And I couldn't have imagined a Cetra as weak as you."

Sensing she had hit upon a delicate topic, Aeris couldn't help but continue to goad him. Where normally she would have been appalled, she was just incensed. "Oh, what's the matter, General? Touchy subject? Actually, I can't even imagine that a man like you could be born in any may resembling normal. Is that why you use all of this force? Because every woman you've ever met couldn't stand the thought of being touched by a man as completely abnormal as you?"

For the rest of her life, Aeris would never forget the intensity with which Sephiroth's eyes had glowed at that instant. Like two haunted, eternal orbs possessing innumerable demons that she could not fathom.

* * *

"_Normal members of soldier? You mean you're different?"_

"_N…no…"_

"_Was I? Was I created this way too?"_

"_Am I the same as all these monsters…"_

"…_I've always felt since I was small…I was different…but…not like this…"

* * *

_

_Hojo…humans...They're to blame! _

_Vengeance._

_I'm…What am I? _

_Damned._

_Gods, why? _

_/The silver-haired boy cowered in the dark corner of his cell. When would he come to take him for his next injection? Gods, they hurt. Like writhing serpents mercilessly tearing at the insides of his body./_

_/"You'll never amount to anything! Look at you. You're just some freak of nature that Shinra and that crazy Hojo want to play around with."/_

_/"Nothing. Nothing but an engineered monster. You're a lab rat. No identity, no family. Nothing. That's all you'll ever be. An outcast. A long haired reject."/_

_/Monster/_

Is slaughter the only way? The only way to survive in this world?

So be it! Stand in my way and I will destroy you. I have no choice…

You forced this on me. You're the one to blame. Damn you Hojo. Damn you all!

Alone.

Always standing alone.

_/The boy reached out his hand towards the fading light beyond his cell door. Grasping, always grasping at shadows and air, reaching out for the one thing that always eluded him. _

"_Please. Please…Don't leave me here alone…"/

* * *

_

Aeris had never been more frightened. He was just staring through her, as if lost in a memory.

"Sephiroth?" She said tentatively.

_Oh Gods, what have I done? Why's he acting like this?_

"Sephiroth, please. I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things."

It seemed an eternity passed before his glazed eyes gradually focused until they were once again pinning her like a squirming specimen under the brightness of his gaze. As though an invisible smoke screen had suddenly been removed from between them, his eyes were at last unguarded. And in their depths…

_I'll always remember..._

_It was late afternoon..._

_In places no one would find..._

Gods, she'd known. She'd known all along what lay beneath the surface. But she'd ignored it and allowed herself to be taken in by his rakish façade. Now, she would have given anything to be able to take back the words that she'd spoken in thoughtless anger.

He looked at her with such ill concealed longing, a burning passion dangerous enough to consume her. Could a man like him really feel the need that she read in his eyes? But was it a need for her, or just… Oh Gods, could she truly be seeing…tears, causing the mako of his eyes to glow brighter? Could it be?

Is the pain that's best concealed always the most destructive?

"I'm sorry." She whispered, unable to say anything else. "I-"

He leaned towards her, so slowly, and her breath caught in her throat. She could feel the nearness of his lips even after her eyes had drifted shut. Time seemed to suspend in that one tender moment, where all walls were torn down and there was only simple honesty between them.

_One last kiss…_

"You win this round," Sephiroth whispered.

Her lips tingled wildly from the soft caress of his breath, and without realizing it she began to arch towards him.

He pulled back slightly to prevent the kiss that would have otherwise destroyed the both of them. Carefully, he removed one hand from around her waist and brought his fingertip to the corner of his eye. He studied the solitary bead of moisture that rested so innocently upon his finger. It was like a stranger that he hadn't expected to appear before him, so foreign.

Sephiroth leaned back, drinking in the details of the face that he knew he'd never be able to put from his mind. Slowly, gently, he brushed his fingertip across her trembling lower lip, moistening it with that single tear, and brought his head towards her again.

_One last kiss…_

"Dream of me," he breathed against her parted lips, careful not to touch them.

And then he was gone. It ended as suddenly their interlude had begun, leaving her with a terrible feeling of emptiness.

_There was no final parting kiss, _she realized with disappointment. _And he never even asked for my name._

_Perhaps it's better this way._

Aeris gazed at the dark horizon. There wasn't a single thing to show that he'd ever been there with her. Not a trace of the darkly desirable General left upon that desolate plateau beyond Midgar.

_Maybe it was all an elaborate dream. _

_I had to have imagined the tears. He'd never…It's just impossible. Shinra's greatest General, the immoveable Sephiroth. _

Could he really have spent what seemed like an everlasting, fleeting moment here with her?

Could he really have made her feel such an intoxicating combination and desire and fury, desperate need and hate?

Surely it was just a fantasy.

Her tongue darted out to moisten lips that remembered all too well the forbidden pleasures of his kisses. Her eyes widened suddenly and she turned to face the dark, sprawling complex of Midgar as she tasted the poignant traces of salt left on her lower lip. The essence of a lifetime of torture and despair, culminated in that single, insignificant drop of salted water that had dried upon her lips.

Unbidden, images and sensation from just minutes past assaulted her. Sephiroth, eyes glowing with beautiful, frightening intensity, the veil of his stoicism lifted for that one single moment. The torment she'd seen had been undeniable. She could feel him holding her again, tracing her lower lip with infinite tenderness. And denying her that final kiss.

_Dream of me…_

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was then that I realized_

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

_I will, Sephiroth. How could I not?_

_I'll find you. _

_And this time I won't forget all the secrets you're hiding. I won't let you get away so easily._

_Child, _the Planet whispered, _this is much bigger than just the two of you. All encompassing. Fate of world._

_I know, _Aeris answered. _I won't fail you._

She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of the icy wind cutting through her thin clothes. It was a welcome reminder of reality. Of life.

The world was far from perfect. Far from content and peaceful. But even the darkest crevice is not impenetrably black. And every shadow is born from a light.

_Sephiroth…_

_Dream of me.

* * *

_

AN: VAeC has an unfinished and abandoned sequel, titled "Dream of Me." It's very different, more action-based. If interested, check it out on my website.

At the moment, I'm working on a post-AC fic titled "Sepsis." It can be found here.

If you have a moment, please PLEASE visit the link in my profile that will take you to a fun and cool quiz on how you communicate and receive love. I'm doing a project for one of my classes and taking a survey. I would really, really appreciate it.

Love,

Lyralina

PS. Reviews are nice too. Hehe.


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